Last night, while driving to a friend’s birthday dinner, I had my car radio tuned to NPR.  An evening news program was on and they were talking about the tragic mass shooting that had taken place near Santa Barbara, CA just a few days before.  I got out of the car just as they were wrapping up that segment and I headed into the restaurant; a large spot right by the marina where I had some good seafood, drinks and birthday cake with old and new friends. A relaxing night full of laughs.

After the birthday candles were blown out and a few silly pictures were taken, we all said our good-byes and I got back in the car, the radio still set to NPR.  I was about to change the station as I was feeling like music rather than news, but I was struck by the story that the reporter was discussing.  The horrific stoning of a woman in Pakistan, by her own family, because she chose to marry a man that was not the one her family had arranged for her. Not only was she killed, but so was the baby she was 3 months pregnant with.  I cannot even begin to imagine the god-awful physical and mental pain of being stoned to death, not to mention looking into the eyes of your own family members as it happened. And on top of that, the news story also reported that the this happened on the steps of a court house in front of onlookers and police officers and no one made an effort to stop this.

My first thought after hearing this story was how can anyone alive on this planet feel justified to murder their own family member in such a cruel way over who someone chooses to marry.  Sure there are crimes of passion and love that happen all over the world, but to stand there and throw stones at a pregnant family member? I just cannot wrap my head around that.

I have never been to Pakistan and though it is not high on my list of places to go, given the opportunity I’d definitely make the trip.  But after hearing this story, I said to myself, I may for the first time in my life, put a personal travel ban on a country.  Out of principal, I thought, how can I go some place where this is an acceptable form of punishment?

But then as soon as that thought came, I realize that just a few hours before I was listening to the story of a young man, in a town not too far up the road from where I was driving, who took the lives of 6 innocent people because he felt isolated, rejected and alone.  This was crime in my own backyard. Can I shun one country yet live happily in another?

In the Santa Barbara story, it was one against many; in Pakistan, it was many against one.  Both lead to needless deaths.

Can I compare one crime to the other? Of course not. They are both tragic and both senseless to me…to most people I presume.  But one thing I’ve learned through extensive travel is that the stories I hear on the news are often overshadowed by the individual people you meet and the memorable experiences you take with you if you actually get up and go out in the world. I am horrified by stonings in Pakistan, shootings in America, female genital mutilation in Egypt and acts of slavery, genocide and oppression present in many parts of this world. But before I go and put countries on my own personal “no visit” list, I am reminded of the words the recently departed Dr. Maya Angelou wrote:

Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.- Dr. Maya Angelou

I travel because I’m curious, because I want to meet new people, because I love to discover things that change my perspective while also finding the similarities that bind all of us on this planet. Does crime exist?  Does injustice exist? Yes. Will it keep me from traveling? No.  There’s still too much good out there. There’s still so much to see.