It is getting to that dangerous time here in Beirut. That time when any sad, slow song or question about my departure date will send me into a bit of a teary tizzy.  I always have a pack of Kleenex close at hand in case of a surprise bout of sadness. Most times I don’t even see it coming. It sneaks up on me with a little voice whispering in my ear saying “this time next week you won’t be here” and I instantly start digging for that wadded up tissue in my pocket.

I will miss the view of the ocean from my room

But these feelings are familiar. I experienced them in 2010 when I first visited Beirut for two weeks and I promised myself that I’d visit again. I have fulfilled that promise with a 7 week stay and now I find myself in that same position again.  Having to say goodbye to people, places and a way of life that I can only find here, while thinking of when the next trip will be.

I will miss the great kids I met teaching Capoeira via the Volta Mundo project

I spoke to my mother last week via Skype and she reminded me to “live in the moment” and not focus on something that’s coming that I cannot control. Why spend my last few days here dreading the time I will leave?  I should enjoy every last second! So I’m staying up late, getting up early, being a Lebanon tourist with my friend who is visiting from New York and eating at my favorite restaurants.  Doing my best to stay busy and see as many of the people I will miss as I can. But still, as busy as I try to stay, and as much as I try to not think about what’s coming, I still can’t totally avoid the moments of sadness.  

I will miss splurging on delicious lunch buffets at Tawlet

I know I am extremely lucky. I still have two months of wonderful travel ahead of me. I will see friends in Switzerland and Holland, experience the Olympics in one of my favorite cities with one of my dearest friends, Run with the Bulls in Spain, attend a great Capoeira batizado in Hungary and practice my Portuguese in the motherland.  I will visit new countries like Cyprus and Norway, and spend time in cities that are old favorites like Paris and London. I know I have no shortage of wonderful experiences ahead and I am very excited for them. But that doesn’t make leaving any easier.  

I will miss…

…good times…

….with great friends.

My flight itinerary says I will take off from Rafik Hariri Airport on Monday, July 2 at 20:45 and as much as I’d like to stay here, I’ll be on that flight.  

I’m not alone in feeling like this, am I?  Have you ever felt an attachment like this to a place for one reason or another?  What is it that draws you to that place? And how do you cope with leaving?