One thing Ms. Ling spoke about was her tendency to see situations with an American perspective when traveling.  She told stories of being in China and in Afghanistan and reacting to everyday life from the perspective of an American rather than taking the time to consider the perspective of the people in that host country.  As a global traveler, I do my best to not promote the idea that the American Way is the only way.  I have tried to let go of my preconceived ideas and really open my eyes to new cultural norms. But it doesn’t mean I don’t slip up sometimes.

As I listened to Ms. Ling’s stories I was reminded a little girl I met over 10 years ago in Saigon.   I had just started my 8-month round the world trip and I was still enjoying the freedom of being on the road. I was travelling with two friends at the time and we’d made it a routine to head to the same little bar at the end of each day to get a few drinks. Like many of the bars in Saigon, there were children running around amongst the tables and bar stools trying to sell their gum or cigarettes. One little girl in particular really stood out to my friends and me. Her name was Tran and she was just a little spitfire! She wasn’t necessarily the cutest of all the little kids in the bar, but her personality let us know that she was clearly the leader of the group of kids and she didn’t take shit from anyone. And yes, she was only about 9 years old. Tran spoke enough English to engage us in conversation and she always had a wisecrack or smart remark to let us know who was boss (and it certainly wasn’t us).  And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t resist buying a few packs of gum from her. By the end of our stay in that city, I knew I was honestly going to miss that little girl.

But the whole time we were laughing with her and remarking about what a character she was, we were also privately thinking about how tragic it was that this little girl spent her evenings working in a bar. And even worse, that in a few years, her next job may be in the sex trade.  I hate to even think where she may be today now that she’s about 20 years old.  Honestly, how could a parent allow their daughter to do this kind of work? Why wasn’t she at home doing her homework or getting ready for bed?

From an American, or perhaps Western, point of view these all seemed like legitimate questions.  But I was only looking at the situation from one perspective. What we eventually learned from other travelers who had spent more time in Saigon was that Tran came from a very large family.  That her parents probably could not afford to feed and clothe all of their children so one had to be “sacrificed” to nights of working in a bar to help support their siblings. While not fair to that one child, to the parents it seemed like a better option that having all of the kids go without. For them, it very well may have been the only option they could see. 

I began to understand that while I could never think it was “right” or “good” for a child to work in a bar or for a teenager to be trafficked into a brothel, I could begin to see that there was often a story behind why things were a certain way.  This was just the first of many times where I had to take a step back and view a situation in a foreign country with a new set of eyes.  What about you? What experiences have made you reconsider your own beliefs? Please share in the comments section below.