There is no shortage of books and articles and etiquette advice on how to be a good house guest.  

But what we DO need more advice on is how to be a better host.  If you’re going to open your home to someone, do it willingly.  Make your guest feel welcome, comfortable and safe. Once when I was traveling as a budget backpacker in Kenya, a kind Muslim man let me stay for free in his soon-to-open luxury B&B. He explained that it was a tenant of the Islamic faith to open your home to travelers and make them feel like welcomed guests. I have never forgotten his kindness and I vowed to do the same when I got back to the US and had my own place.  

When I got settled back in Los Angeles I purposely rented an apartment with a guest room so there would always be a place for visitors to stay and be comfortable.  One day I want to own a well-run, welcoming B&B along the coast of Brazil. A place where a guest comes for a 2-day stay, but ends up staying for two weeks because they feel so at home and lose track of time.  But until I can make that dream happen, I let my apartment be my proving ground

Well, I have to confess, I messed up today. Royally.  I was not the good host, nor the good friend, that I try to be. I let personal issues and stress get in the way and I unintentionally made a guest in my home feel unwelcome.  This friend was being a perfect guest, but instead of being honest about needing some time alone, I tried to go through the motions of being a good host, which ultimately backfired on me. I feel awful, but I also learned an important lesson. You can open your home, lay out your nicest towels, or offer up a fabulous home cooked meal, but if you do not do so with an open heart, you have failed in your job as a host.  

In the end its better to be honest, to let people know your true situation. If you offer to let someone stay, but do not have the time to entertain, let them know. Or if it just not a good time to have someone in your home let them know that too. Just be honest.  A good traveler will understand and not feel off put by the situation if you are honest from the beginning.

So to the person I have let down, please accept my apology and know that the door remains open.  And to friends and family and future guests, rest assured that I still love having visitors and sharing my home.  I appreciate every single guest room, futon, hammock and sleeping bag I’ve stayed in during my journeys, and I intend to continue to return the favor in my own home. Just know that if you ask to visit and say yes I truly mean it. And if for some reason I cannot, I will be honest in that situation as well.

Hope to see you all again soon at the Hayward Hotel!